Love is Pain? What do you mean by that exactly??

Drugs, Depression, and Abuse in the spotlight

There is no greater agony than beating an untold story inside of you. –

Maya Angelou

(Not in a particular order) Megan Thee Stallion, Enchanted the rapper, Ciara, Halle Berry, Robin Givens, K. Michelle, Lil Kim, Tina Turner, Phyllis Hyman, Wanda Young, Tammi Terrell, and Florence Ballard

She was a gold digger. Now she got kids and expect some OTHER man to play stepdad? If she was so sad, why didn’t go to a therapist? She had the money!

Why did she lie about being intimate with him?? Why didn’t she just leave? That could NEVER be me.

I don’t recall a time where I didn’t hear “scam artist” or something similarly negative when I heard Robin Givens’ name growing up. It wasn’t until I was old enough to research and develop an opinion of my own to discover many women like her were not only harmed but were candid in their admissions. Now, on any corner of the internet, we can all find various videos of (LHHATL) Rasheeda openly denying the experiences of abuse endured by her cast mate, K. Michelle.

While it’s fortunate to grow through your trauma and be a member of the 33 million survivors of assault, the aftershock side effects are imminent. Mental health disorders like depression, PTSD, and anxiety seem to cripple the quality of life that these women worked so hard to create. Women like Phyllis Hyman unalive themselves because the hurt seems inescapable. For whatever the cause, black women continue to suffer silently and experience repetitive public humiliation.

Male creators have expressed their frustrations as they too suffer from the harmful and unhealthy actions of abusive and ill-behaving men

Romantic love is killing black women. 28% of Black women (American and Caribbean) experienced “IPV” (intimate partner violence also known as domestic violence) of some kind. It seems we’re continuously sensitized to its occurrence and how frequently it unfolds within our proximity. Dozens of creators with microphones continue to justify for the hundredth time why their supposed favorite, dwarfish Canadian artist should not be imprisoned because Grammy award winning, Texas rapper Megan Thee Stallion “lied”.

Even if you do manage to find yourself in a healthy relationship you must accept the reality that you are forever “damaged goods” at any given time you decide to be proud of yourself. I thought y’all wanted these women to “choose better”!? Are women like Ciara supposed to be subjected to disorder, dishonor, and infidelity for the rest of their lives or until they’re old, drained, and broken down? Is that the price to experience respect, affection, faithfulness, and kindred love?

I remember being so underweight I could barely fit my panties. Yes, even black women have eating disorders too. 4 in 10 black women were reported to be prone to stomach and gastrointestinal problems in 2015. Nobody asked about my mental state or my personal safety, they just wanted me to know they didn’t like the way I looked. Let’s stop ignoring the overt signs. Eating disorders are not solely applicable to white women. Abuse affects more than our emotions and relationship status.

Sis, that man may be fine but he’s not worth your favorite Sunday breakfast. As the tides of this country change for what seems to be the worst, do not employ yourselves with the duty of carrying any burden you did not create. Rest and selfishness are more than a necessary act, it’s resistance. The public dog piling and outright hate speech regarding black women in entertainment has perpetual consequences that has long lasting effects, even after we’re long gone. As women, we should not be prepared for harm and violence from those we trust. It is not normal. In order to attain a healthy relationship, we should not have to “earn” it by enduring dysfunction and suffering. Decency is a fundamental principle that should be a nonnegotiable expectation in every woman’s qualification arsenal. No “loyalty test” needed.