It’s 2025, the term ‘kinky’ is no longer synonymous to white people. How many times have you told yourself, “Black people don’t do that freaky shit”? Release the grip on those pearls of yours, everybody has an extra spicy fantasy on their secret sex bucket list. Sex is many things sacred, holy, therapeutic, inclusive, spiritual but has never been linear or conservative.
Jada La Pearl wows the crowd with a voluntary human prop. Photo cred: @badstylephoto
Pleasure is a spectrum from erotic novels to voyeurism. The Black women who posture freedom of sexual expression, sensuality and consent may still be a taboo, yet it doesn’t overlook their contributions to the sensual third spaces and the kink community. Let’s take a dive headfirst (pun, intended) into some exclusive events, parties, and conventions that’ll put some excitement in your private, not so private lives.
Kicking things off with my favorite sensual event to attend, pole dance showcases. These are best tailored for the bashful voyeur or the adventurous couple who enjoy live entertainment that want to get away from the monotonous strip club scene. Lush Escapades Revue (lushescapadesrevue, IG) is in a league of its own featuring curvy, plus sized dancers. Hold onto your wallets honey, you may go home happily empty-handed. This event is curated by body positive pole dancer /instructor, Jada La Pearl (flowwithpearllush, IG). From Georgia to California, she’s been kicking down doors in her platform pleasers challenging societal norms showing her audience and the world that size matters, where it counts.
Jada gets playfully flogged at Fetish Showcase at Splash Studios in North Carolina Photo cred: @millerroseboudoir
Keosha Reddic, respectively known as ‘Mother Rose’ hosts the semi-annual showcase Thee Bad Bish Takeover (@rosefrom_concretellc, IG) known for its unique lineups with LGBTQ +, plus sized, and burlesque performers forging extraordinary experiences making the most virginal spectator a loyal audience member.
The African American presence within the Kink and BDSM lifestyle spectrum continues to maintain an element of mystery. Its long withstanding history can be attributed to discretion, word of mouth, and support from grassroots organizations. The present lack of adequate access to information and resources that validate black bodies, highlight consent, enforce safety, and non-negotiable bodily autonomy we’re left with a disconnection.
The partition between the informed and willfully ignorant has allowed the conventionally attractive and able-bodied individual to feel it’s their right to dictate who can have consensual and pleasurable sexual/sensual encounters. Particularly black women and those living with a disability are the frequent and most vulnerable targets. Recently, a disabled black woman unabashedly described her first impression of a lifestyle party on social media website, Twitter (presently known as X) to which she received commentary so ignorant, bizarre, and wildly ableist she had to bar her comment section. Ill-informed rhetoric regarding disabled bodies continuously revolves around fallacies that amass individuals living with similar conditions. Not all disabilities result in uniform, limited capabilities and symptoms. Summer Walker was very clear when she said, girls need love. And that includes the disabled girls too.
Ethically operated, Goddess House is a retreat welcoming people vanilla and beyond to experience sexual liberation and intimacy. Curated by Goddess Aya (@thegoddess.aya, IG)
For my good, bad girls and the good, GOOD girls The Melanated Sex Expo is the convention of your wettest dreams located in the mountainous desert of Arizona. Kink informed and sex positive duo, Nesha B. & Kiki Love are the space holders for one of the most breathtaking 3-day events I’ve had the pleasure of attending.
From interactive workshops, jaw dropping exhibitions, to one-of-a-kind vendors, the sun wasn’t the only thing keeping the temperature piping hot.
Nesha & Kiki Love are no strangers to all things spicy, sexy, and educational with their annual sex expo
For participants like me living with environmental anxiety or neurodivergence, you can help yourself to the complimentary “Chill room” available on site. Low lights, beverages, and soft plushie toys create a calm environment with unmatched attention to detail. This level of consideration seldom and desperately needs to be normalized among all social gatherings.
Staying on the topic of deliciousness like bites, music, sisterhood, sensuality, and self love grab a ticket to Atlanta’s most anticipated and exclusive lingerie parties. Grab your girls and your favorite thong because Queendom (@queendomlingerieparty, IG) is calling your name. Raising the bar in party hosting, the famed visionary, The Walking Africa continues making history each year redefining femininity by facilitating body positive environments centering women, their enjoyment, and freedom to express themselves safely. She currently hosts three events annually with discreet locations appeasing her loyal patrons. For the girls who are still in their club-going era, may Act Bad Fridays be the antidote for those with bored-in the-house blues.
My favorite detail about these social events are the wheelchair accessible venues and the promotion of ride sharing to encourage responsible drinking and safety. Under our country’s current political climate, unfiltered joy has become a taboo and third spaces are vital. Making no room for fatphobia, ableism, misogynoir, or anti-LGBTQ ideals the vibes are worth their price. Black women deserve community and environments that center us primarily.
Our voices, our bodies, and our spaces are political. This isn’t just cycling money back into our community, we’re witnessing history in motion. Mark your calendars for this season’s upcoming gatherings to experience the bliss, the excitement, the sensuality of feminine energy and unforgettable moments that will exceed time. Expression is not a privilege owed to the dogmatic, and the morally obedient. Globally, bodily autonomy and reproductive freedom continue to reach peaks ranging from the popular 4B movement to Trinidad & Tobago banning anal penetration labeling it as “gay sex”.
The social hierarchy has sustained itself on the precipice of punching down on black women existing within and beyond the binary spectrum. These ladies perpetuating the ancestral and incessant tradition of space holding is a preservation tool in a society that wishes us to remain silent and shamed of our desire to experience pleasure and sensuality. The free, naked, sensual, and sexual nature of a woman is not a taboo bound for objectification. Our bodies have a story that only our lips earned the right to share. +
black renaissance woman 
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